July 1, 2023

Summer break takes a few days to set in. It’s the cold pool your toes need to test first. Soon enough, you’ll acclimatise and be swimming without reservation.

I haven’t put on pants today. Everything I’ve done has been limited by this unchanging truth. I did shower, without clothes, so that’s a win. TV felt overstimulating so I read for a bit. I drew and coloured in a mandala on my iPad. I downloaded a racing car game I used to play but deleted it after a couple of races. I worked on some digital puzzles. Now, I’m writing up this blog post.

My brain and body need time to rest. I worry about wasting away the summer, about not getting started on the things I want to do soon enough. I envision SANA Stationery & Gifts being my summer job. By the end of the summer, I want to have built something substantial. When the next school year starts, I want to be in a position to maintain my commitment to my goals, to keep growing with the project.

If I had the brain power to start working on something with a through line, like I was talking about the other day, I would. Today is not the day for it. There’s no message that I want to send or story that I want to tell. More than anything, I want to clean my apartment thoroughly, as if to encourage my mental state to reflect my physical space. I want to have the gumption to suffer the inconveniences necessary to rid my space of the things I no longer want or need.

Ideas are forgotten. Goals lead to unexpected successes. Things collect. Eventually, it’s time to move on. It’s easiest to travel light.


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