It’s now 2:20 am, and I’ve been awake thinking about the date that I have tomorrow at noon. I’ve been passing the time by chatting with friends over pints of beer, and reading a book by my high school sweetheart, who is now married, with child, and happier than I could ever have made her.
I’m really nervous.
We met on Tinder. Have you heard of Tinder? It’s an iPhone dating app (sadly, it’s only for iPhone). All you see is photos of a person and a quick bio, should they choose to include one. It’s a genius app. Who really reads through all of those filled-in boxes on more traditional dating websites?
I get it. You like to travel, you like good food, and you love your nieces and nephews. So do I. Except, I hate travelling, I like pub fare, and many of my nieces and nephews are older than me. My family tree is a bit messed up.
Do you look good?
But, she’s gorgeous. And! she’s a teacher.
We’ve been messaging each other for about a week, now, and I haven’t quite scared her off. I certainly hope that I won’t. But, in all honesty, it won’t be more than a quick coffee before she figures out that my pictures on Tinder are somewhat unkind to who I really am.
Her and I are set to meet at the most famous pastry shop in town, and have a coffee, while we decide where to eat lunch. For all its faults, Mariposa has a nice selection of dining establishments. You can get a really nice pastry in this town, to compliment your overpriced sandwich.
But, who cares what we’re eating or drinking, when I’m poised to be a bumbling idiot?
I’m absolutely horrible at dating.
Do you remember Hitch? Yeah, I need him. Not Will Smith, but the better version of him in that movie. I need help with dating. I need Hitch’s mentor.
I wear underwear labelled “Prodige”, with foolish pride.
Whatever the case, she’ll likely not see my nether-wears tomorrow around noon. She’ll mostly certainly perceive my nervousness.
I hope she’s kind to me. I’ll pay for the coffee, the sandwiches, and the desserts. I’ll even bring my cub-scout blanket, and an umbrella, in case we have lunch on the beach of the lake.
Should I bring her a flower, and leave it on her seat? Because, for this, I will arrive early.