February 21, 2024


I was reading a math textbook today. It took me a few pages to realise that I didn’t retain any of what I was reading. The same thing happened last night when I was looking up the difference between “who” and “whom.”

Remembering anything lately has been difficult. Truth be told, I can’t recall any of what I’ve forgotten. There’s a narrow bridge between my senses and synapses that is showing signs of wear.

I don’t think this is a permanent condition. Exercising my brain more would likely help. Reading and staying off my phone would be good things to start with. Still, my sense is that this is also a response to something.

I called my sister last week to tell her that I spoke up like she would’ve in a similar situation. She’s a no bullshit, straight-shooting kind of person. She doesn’t make time for nonsense unless it’s mine. Then, too, she’ll set a timer. One of any number of things ticked me off and I spoke up about it. I pissed somebody off in doing so. I walked away from the situation unbothered. That’s not like me.

For as amazing as the human body is, the feats it can overcome, and the strength that hides within our cells, it has its limitations. My guess is that there’s been a latent stress in my life that is manifesting as this cloudiness interfering with my unfettered engagement with the world. Information has to swim through a thick brine to get to my brain that has been marinating in the shit for a while now.

It’s unclear to me what I can to do improve the situation.


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