February 20, 2024

Somethings off.

We watched Julie & Julia. It took us three sittings to watch it through. In the movie, Julie works her way through Julia Child’s cookbook in a year. She, Julie, blogs about it along the way, which brings her fame. A movie is eventually made about it.

When she first starts out, Julie wonders who her audience is or if she even has one. Her first comment is exciting. She starts receiving gifts from her readers. Julie becomes so invested that her husband, Eric, calls her a narcissist and leaves for two days.

I asked Hannah if I’m a narcissist. She said, “No.” Then I asked if asking is a narcissistic thing to do. She said that I wouldn’t have asked if I were, indeed, a narcissist.

I don’t understand why Eric was upset with Julie. She was pursuing a goal she had set out for herself. He was getting delicious meals every night. She invested her time and energy into a passion. She should get upset when something doesn’t work out quite right, and he should listen to her complain about it. Didn’t he sign up for that?

I’m digressing.

Why do I continue to write this blog? This question, and a few others, have been on my mind for the last few days. What is the purpose of this blog?

I don’t know.

Some part of me thinks that sticking with it will eventually lead to something. What that is, we’ll find out. It could turn out to be nothing. Maybe just the routine of it is good for me. Chronically an aspect of my life daily might be making sense of the world in a way I’m unaware of. I’m encouraged by the idea that I’ll eventually hit on an idea that sets me off.

Why do you read this blog? What brings you back?

The notion of purposefulness, or lack thereof, has been clouding my disposition. I’ve been spaced out, disengaged, and bored. My days feel full of undirected tasks. What I do can be easily undone.

What am I trying to achieve? For whom?


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