I was able to get outside today to make a pen. It felt good. I felt out of practice.
While writing today’s morning pages, I was thinking a fair bit about how I want SANA Stationery & Gifts to be a success. For some reason, it felt like doing so would be an act of redemption.
After I finished the pen, I tried an idea my dad gave me a few months back. My box making started because I was attempting to make boxes for my pens instead of ordering them. My dad suggested that I drill a hole in a block of wood. I did that today and I think it’ll work rather well. I have to refine the idea but it’s got good potential.
This pen making venture draws me in. I think about it often. I make mental notes when I see things that might work for me. I imagine what things will look like. I envision growth.
While setting up to drill a hole in that block of wood, I suddenly felt anxious, as if I were about to get caught for doing something that I’m not supposed to. I tried to work more slowly and quietly to attract less attention. I don’t know that anybody was nearby enough to see or hear me. Still, it felt like I was trying to get away with something.
In order for this venture to be a success, I will have to face and overcome my anxieties and fears. I will have to find conviction and determination within myself. What this really means is that I’ll have to make and follow through on decisions.
I’ve got a lot to practice.
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