September 29, 2023

I’ve been having some luck lately with people being interested in some of the stuff I make. The bowls seem to be drawing people’s attention. My friends are good people and want to support me, but I have a really hard time asking them for money. I have a hard time asking for money more generally, too.

Pricing my pens and bowls is difficult. I always think I’m asking for too much. Most people I ask, think I’m charging too little. I don’t know what the middle ground is, probably because there won’t be one until I’m okay with accepting money from other people for things that I’ve made.

Last weekend, I made a pen for Hannah’s friend’s husband. We had talked about it in the summer. I brought him the pen when we went for brunch, but he wasn’t expecting it. I gave him a price and immediately followed with a discount. It felt like blindsiding him into a purchase, a vacuum salesman in stationery form.

A little while ago, someone mentioned to me that they really like a bowl I made. I told Hannah that I’m thinking of just giving it to them. She told me that it’s great that they like it and we should leave it at that. I was feeling guilty that someone really likes something I can give them but, still, I’m not.

My sister is very good at playing this weakness of mine to her advantage. When we lived together, she’d wait until I was napping and then come in and ask for something. She knew I’d say yes to almost anything if she asked, and that I’d agree to even more if I was half asleep. During one Stampede, she asked me for money to play with at the casino. She won and I lost.

I don’t know how to resolve this. Maybe it’ll become easier as I begin selling more. You should probably buy something to help me out.


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