June 11, 2023

I was hoping for more from today but I just have to accept that it was a slow day. It’s probably exactly what I needed today to be.

I woke up late, worked on tomorrow’s video for a bit, then moved over to the couch, where I stayed for the evening. My girlfriend came over to paint the chest. She chose a colour called “Dusty Miller” and it looks really good. I only just got up to warm some soup and write this post.

I often feel guilty for relaxing, for taking time off. I feel like I’ve wasted enough time already and I should be making the most of what time I’m being given now. I don’t understand why I don’t have more drive, more motivation, more grit. I’m wondering now if worrying so much about getting more done is stopping me from doing more. What if I were to just do things at a comfortable pace?

I think it was Darwin who spent some 40 years studying earthworms. I believe he converted his snooker table into a lab desk, spreading worms all over it. Darwin is not remembered for studying earthworms but that was where he started and ended his study. Something we might consider so mundane, so average, so benign, held his interest for four decades. It would take that long given how quickly earthworms move.

Today was the right type of day for me to watch earthworms being earthworms.