Since winter break started, I’ve been counting down the days until 2021. Friday morning will be the turning point. It’s the day that everything will become better. In my head.
Much of this winter break has been about waiting out time. If I can just hold on, I tell myself, things will all fall into place soon. Real soon. Each day brings you one day closer. It’s coming. Real soon.
My approach to the various things I’ve been doing has been from the vantage point of a temporal seesaw. I’m doing things so that 2020 ends off nicely and sets me up good for 2021. I’ve been cleaning my apartment, getting at the baseboards and the whole bit, because I want to have a fresh start to the new year. I sorted out some finances, moved some money around, so that I can enter 2021 on good financial ground. I signed into Instagram for the first time in about a month because I plan to use it to share my pictures and blog posts in 2021. In short, I’m getting myself ready for 2021 to be a
better different more productive….
I’m not sure what 2021 is going to look like. Looking back, I didn’t expect 2020 to end the way that it’s about to. In many ways, I don’t want 2020 to end the way that it’s about to. I do wish that things were different but this isn’t Neverland and my wishing is inconsequential.
2020 is Tick-Tock the Crocodile. It’s the alarm that many of us needed to wake us up. No matter how many times we hit snooze on the year, it kept going off nine minutes later. Nobody asks for just nine more minutes of sleep. At some point, we had to get out of bed to throw the alarm clock against the wall, put the coffee on, or let go of the piss we’ve been holding in because we were comfortable under the covers.
And yet, everything is just the way it’s supposed to be because it couldn’t have been otherwise. This isn’t a question of faith, of believing that your empty plate is full in order to satiate your appetite. This is the order of things; it’s only chaotic because we don’t know all of the reasons. Archimedes reasoned it thusly.
But, we’re told to keep looking forward, to keep moving forward. This is how we progress: we learn from the past and we make plans for the future. But, what’s in the past doesn’t matter, it’s in the past. What we really need to focus on is the future, what we’re in control of. Learn from your mistakes and keep trying, growing, because you’ll get there eventually. It’s really up to you. But, you gotta want it. Really want it.
And then, the best way to live is to live in the moment. The past is gone and the future isn’t here yet. All that you have, right now, is right now. Embrace it. Make the most of it. You don’t know what’s next.
In the end, time is what we make of it. Tick-Tock ate Hook, something he didn’t wish for, not in Neverland at least.