I realised something this morning that put me on my back foot a little. At once, there was relief in the acknowledgement and an unsettling in the realisation.
As an aside, I keep forgetting to put my reading glasses on. Now that I’ve gotten used to them, they are quite helpful.
Back to what I started with; the recognition wasn’t sudden. In fact, it should have occurred to me sooner. I’ve yet to discover where to go with it.
I look forward to getting to the end of the working day so that my day can finally begin. Every morning, what I look forward to is what I’m going to be doing after work. As far as work is concerned, I do my best with the time that I have there and nothing more. Where I really want to be is elsewhere, working on something, on my own, and of my own devising.
It struck me that I’m not learning anything with the work that I do during the day. It’s not an educational experience for me, or I can’t see the educational value in the work that I’m doing as an educator. My mind is disengaged because it isn’t challenged by the work.
Even to me, this sounds like an entitled and privileged position to be in. What I want to figure out now is how to become reengaged, how to further my learning through the work that I’m doing, and to enhance my program meaningfully.
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