Music vs TV

I don’t know how to find the cable channels that I pay for. There should be 30 that I have access to among the 9999 in the guide. I’m not bothered, though.

All of the television programming that I watch, I know how to access. I turn to Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, and YouTube. Those three options provide me with enough content. Although, lately, I can’t seem to find anything worth watching.

In the last little while, I’ve been finding, as has happened in the past, that I much prefer to listen to music. Sometimes, I’ll put a nature program on the TV on mute, like I used to see in bars. The music plays, the animals dance. I can go about my day, evening, or night.

It’s been hard for me to focus on what I see. I avoid driving if I can go somewhere on foot. I put air in the tires on my bicycle this afternoon. Closing my eyes gives me a sense of reprieve and relief. During evening walks, I’ve taken up to three consecutive steps with my eyes closed, a dangerous proposition when walking alone at night, downtown in a big city.

These days, it’s much easier to listen. It’s even easier to block everything out when I’m wearing my headphones, which never seem to get loud enough. I can’t seem to think in silence or without noise that’s loud enough to hear nothing else.

I used to like dancing. Maybe I’m yearning to be as free as the birds I’ve been seeing on TV.


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