I wasn’t ready for today

Yesterday, I knew that today would be the first day of work for the year. It’s always a bit of a shock to the system, that first day back to work after some time away. To help me get ready, I set out some khaki pants, a shirt, and a blue, knitted sweater yesterday. I took the time to shave and cut the hairs that have started growing out of my nose. I went to bed relatively early, even following a simple, guided meditation before turning out the lights for the night.

I’m working from home this week. It’s not ideal. I should have opted to go in to work but I figured that this would be a good opportunity for me to regulate my sleep schedule, spend some more time with Riel, and see what it’s really like to work from home. I’ve always been apprehensive about it.

I don’t like it, working from home, that is. Somehow, I still managed to rush to work in the morning. When I logged on to my computer, I checked my email and swore when I saw how many unread messages there were. I didn’t even get to finish my coffee before it got cold. Before I had time enough to pull my paperwork out of my bag, the bell rung and the week had started.

At lunch, I had to get out. I went for a brisk, 20-minute walk. I found myself turning up the volume on my headphones every 30 seconds, even after it was maxed out. At traffic lights, I’d flick the screen back and forth on my iPhone, waiting for something to change. I got back with enough time to make a sandwich and eat it. I wasn’t able to finish the YouTube video I started, though.

By the end of the day, I had to take a nap. I didn’t even have the energy, or will, to change out of my khakis and blue, knitted sweater. I curled up in bed, like I do most nights, and waited to fall asleep.

I couldn’t. It took nearly 45 minutes before I felt tired enough, before my eyelids were heavy enough. Riel, well, he’d been passed out for at least the last two hours, with the lights on and everything. He was entirely unfazed by the day’s events and drama. He stayed true to himself.

Maybe it’s because I forgot to take my vitamins this morning. And, tomorrow, I’m going to wear a hoodie with jeans. I tried to change too many things today.

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