Every now and then I get dating advice from married men. They get curious about what dating is like these days, or they just want to show some interest in my life. I think.
Whenever they include in a conversation about dating something like, “You know, if I could do it all over again, to be 32 again, I’d do it differently,” I start to question their advice.
To be fair, the praise that they lay upon my becoming qualities as a self-reflective projection of their own envisioned character traits is not harmful or deeming toward me. It’s quite flattering to have a more learned gentlemen take notice of the charming qualities in you that they themselves see in their own internal mirror.
But, if you didn’t do it properly, what do you know?
But, I get it, they’re trying to tell me to learn from their mistakes. So, I take the advice, store it in the folds of my brain, and make a joke to segue my exit.
Then, once I’ve walked away, I start to wonder if they’re happily married. I mean, did they eventually figure it out, or did they finally decide that they were better off behind the bench than on the ice? ‘Cause, it really sounds like they have serious regrets.
Thing is, the conversation rarely turns from “Given the chance, I’d do it differently” to “…but I eventually learned from my mistakes”.
You know, thinking about it now, I’ve never been told to choose a few choice women and enjoy their company. Most of the advice from the men who’d do it differently, if not overtly, suggests that you just gotta get out there, take chances, be decisive, and carry few regrets. Which, I guess, is sound advice from a guy who’s got an ol’ ball and chain waiting at home, who, don’t get me wrong, he loves with all his heart.
I had one of these conversations today, and it got me thinking….