Jason Statham is my favourite action hero. I’ve seen most of the movies that he’s in. I wouldn’t say that he has a lot of range, but I also wouldn’t say that I haven’t enjoyed most of the movies that I’ve seen him in.
I have a peculiar fancy for things British. Statham is British. He has a slight cockney accent that is easy enough to understand, and it doesn’t change when he plays international characters. His haircut doesn’t change either, but his beard varies from a little bit of stubble to about a week’s worth of growth.
Whenever I watch him act, I think that I could be just like him if I went to the gym, learned martial arts, spent some time in East Hackney, got my knee repaired, and shaved my head. We’re already the same height. Sure, I could be a tough guy.
I could walk with a swagger, my tight lats keeping my arms from touching my sides. I could look good in a tight t-shirt, which I’d have to remove at regular intervals. I could be imposing enough to have people listen to me while I talk when looking away from them.
I need to get myself a tough upbringing and a troubled past to make myself hard enough to be believable. Eventually, I’d realise that I need to settle down and I’ll retire into obscurity. My past wouldn’t stay away, though, and I’ll have to go back to my old ways to save a friend. Along the way, a beautiful woman will walk into my life who I’ll have to rescue. After I save my friend, I’ll end up with her, so the one night we spent together during my mission wasn’t a hit-n-run.
Every time I watch Statham in a movie, I can just see myself in his shoes, doing what he’s doing. It’s like I’m learning. The only thing that I wouldn’t be able to do is to remain as humble as he does. Every hero has his or her weakness, and humility would be my kryptonite.
How does Jason Statham do it all?