The worst part is that you have hope this time.
I like hope. I like hope in the way that Red, from
The Shawshank Redemption, doesn’t. I think that if you aren’t willing to try for nothin’, nothin’ ain’t ever goin’ happen.
But, take this from a man who always has a well-stocked refrigerator before he makes plans for an evening out with a woman.
The rest of what I’m about to write, I envision as being read in a deep highland Scottish accent. I’d make a recording of me reading it, but I might be too mooch under the ways of alcohol.
There ain’t never gonna be a wooman that’s is right for yoo. Of’en all there is in dis life is the approximation of wha’ ya want tid.
Yoo may feel dejected naw, but it’s temporary. There aar, a woman who will be right fer yoo. Jus’ wai’.
Sure, she were pretty, but surely weren’t pretty enough fer yoo. Sometime’, this is how life’ it go. Sometime’, it jus’ ain’t gonna happen.
The recent news of a woman who was asked to remove clothing, vaguely resembling a burkini, while sunbathing on a beach in Nice, France, has me in a bit of an uproar. That she was asked by four – FOUR – police officers, two of whom were wearing as much clothing as she was, and was threatened with pepper spray makes the incident – harassment – that much worse.
Continue reading “But, I Can Wear a Mankini”
This is the first time that I’ve ever held a baby.
Here are the responses that I received:
Sister: Hahahah you look so scared! But it’s super cute. Please say hello to Jordan and Matt for me! And congrats
Me: I’m terrified!
Sister: Hahahaha. You look it!
Me: Great. Good look for me. Loves
Sister: Well you don’t need to worry yet! I hope. Loves
Me: Hell no! Loves
Dad: Yam nice you look good big smile Loves dad
Me: Ha ha. Thanks. Loves
Maa: What a cute tall baby. Nice to see you hold a baby. Looks so good. Loves
Zahra: *five laughing with tears emojis* You’re either going to be the best or the worst dad
Zahra: Because I said so
Me: That was the first time I ever held a baby.
Zahra: Well good for you, you looked completely natural.
Me: There was terror in my insides. Terror.
Zahra: Yes I could tell
Me: You said I looked completely natural.
Zahra: I was being sarcastic. I punctuated it.
I arrived home last night, at around 3 am. When I walked in, Riel meowed with a voice that sounded either parched or worn. For the next three hours, he kept bunting me, in between rubbing himself all over me. I didn’t get much sleep last night.
Continue reading “It’s Nice to Go Home, and It’s Good to Come Back”